


As Sure as I Am of Morning Light

by caramelcoups



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: ? - Freeform, Love Confessions, M/M, Pillow Talk, Pining, Unrequited Love, You Decide, very short as it is what my attention span can handle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:34:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27160528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caramelcoups/pseuds/caramelcoups
Summary: And in that moment Jeonghan hurts him, so he tells him what he doesn’t want to hear.“I love you too.”
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 3
Kudos: 50





	As Sure as I Am of Morning Light

“You’re such an idiot.”

They’re in Jeonghan’s bed, in his room, without any clothes on like so many times before, facing each other, legs tangled and breathing mingled. They’re catching their breaths after laughing as they lie down together, and that’s the closest 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 that he has ever gotten from Jeonghan. 

Jeonghan has his head on Seungcheol’s bicep, and when he breathes he feels the exhale on his cheeks. And when he smiles his eyes follow the familiarity of the small curves that form on his face. 

In that moment Jeonghan is beautiful. And in that moment Jeonghan hurts him, so he tells him what he doesn’t want to hear.

“I love you too.”

And he feel’s Jeonghan’s hand twitch from where it’s placed on the crook of his neck. The thin sheet is crumpled behind him where Seungcheol is gripping it with all the force of a drowning man. Like he’s drowning in white striped sheets, like Jeonghan is a stone in his pocket, heavier now that it’s just them at the deep end. 

“But how do you know?”

It’s funny, for a bit. Because how did he know? He’s never asked that to himself. During countless long nights with alcohol and just his thoughts, he has asked ‘why’. He was at a basketball court at 2 AM when he asked ‘why shouldn’t I’. But he has never had to ask how. 

“I don’t know, but sometimes when I can’t sleep, I wait for the sunrise through my window. And while I wait, I never ask myself how I know that the sun would go up.”

Jeonghan touches his face with gentleness he rarely feels from the other man. His fingers trace an imaginary pattern of tears down his face to his bare chest, drying tears far too late. Soothing heartaches crafted by his own hands. Taking back words he never said. 

Seungcheol feels like a raw edge.

“And I don’t remember the first time I watched the sun rise, but I know it always has. And I know tomorrow it will too.”

“I am not the sun, Cheol.” 

The whispered words feel heavy on his collarbone. And they’re said so quietly like they’re meant to be a secret. 

“I’ll wait for you anyway.”

Because it’s the truth. It always has been the truth.

No matter how many hook-ups Jeonghan brings home to the dorms, no matter how many times Seungcheol notices that he only ends up liking guys with broad shoulders, bassist fingers, and a face that would hurt him - it’s the truth. 

No matter how many times Seungcheol confesses to Jeonghan, no matter how many times Jeonghan’s answer stays the same. 

No matter how many times they’ve fallen in bed together like this, no matter how many times they’ve been breathless together. 

No matter how many times Jeonghan is the sun, no matter how many times Seungcheol wakes up in flames.

All he knows to do is wait. Say some pretty words here and there, to earn a soft touch from all of Jeonghan’s harshness.

And for that he is stupid. All his friends know how many times he’s promised to get over needing this man in his arms. They know how many times he’s failed. Because even when Jeonghan is the sun, he’s still human. Jeonghan is all-consuming and inevitable, when Seungcheol hides, he can only hide in shadows. And he keeps to himself until he misses the warmth of sunlight, forgetting that it can burn. 

“What if I told you that I love you? That I’ve been saying it all this time?”

Silence falls after Jeonghan speaks and Seungcheol embraces him fully, letting his grip on the sheet fall limp, holding the other man as close as he can with one arm around his shoulders and another around his waist. Jeonghan tucks his elbows in between them, pulling away so Seungcheol can see him with his eyes closed. Seungcheol still feels his strong fingers caress his face, gently still.

Jeonghan breathes out softly, resigned but steady. “Would you believe me?”

“Yes.” 

Yes he would. And he kisses Jeonghan like it wasn’t a what if. Like he has all the sureness in the world despite years of uncertainty. Later, he’d have to ask. He’d have to think about what Jeonghan means. But right now, he’s looking at the sun and he’s not blinded yet. He’s going to wait until he gets burned again. 

“I’m an idiot, after all.”

**Author's Note:**

> title is from the poem 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘍𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘔𝘦?


End file.
